I Gave Lean In a Chance

Lean In: Women, Work, and the Will to Lead by Sheryl Sandberg

My rating: 5 of 5 stars


When my Meetup group announced that our next event would center around Facebook COO, Sheryl Sandberg’s book, Lean In, I thought, “Oh no. No way am I reading a book written by some high-powered female executive. And a Facebook one at that. I’ve got enough books to read.” I immediately wrote the book off and did not want to give it a chance because I assumed it would be filled with feminist jargon that did not concern me. I didn’t even read the book description our organizer provided from Amazon.

Thankfully, the universe intervened, and forced me to listen to someone else talk about the book. When I bothered to listen and be open-minded, I realized that I did want to read a book about women, work, and leadership.

I still approached Lean In warily. Perhaps Sandberg would drone on about women’s rights and the unfairness she’s experienced in the workplace. These are things that don’t usually concern me. Rarely in my professional life have I thought I was treated a certain way because I of my gender. Normally, I don’t doubt that I can execute at work. It doesn’t bother me a whole lot to be the only woman in a room full of men at work. Yet, I found some perspective through Sandberg’s book.

Yes, she talks about equality in the workplace, and at home. But I didn’t find it to be didactic, or whiny for that matter. She takes her reader through her professional and personal experiences, and admits to the times when she could have done better. Sandberg also discusses her shortcomings, her doubts and her struggles. She even points out some very interesting studies. My favorites being the 2003 Heidi/Howard study conducted by a Columbia Business School professor and a New York University professor; along with a study conducted in the UK about employment and socio-emotional behavior.  I would go into detail, but I really want you to read this book.

Maybe I liked Lean In so much because like Sandberg, I have been called bossy for my entire life. Maybe it’s because I work full-time, and I’m in a leadership position at my current job. Whatever the reason(s), Lean In resonated with me, and it’s an important book for everyone to read. And I mean everyone.

If you work in your home or outside your home; if you’re a woman or a man; if you’re entry level, middle management or in the C-Suite, there is something you can take away from this book. If you have a daughter (or three like my parents), then my guess is you probably want her to become a confident woman who find success and happiness in life. This book isn’t the end-all, be-all, but it’s headed in the right direction.

My favorite Lean In excerpts:

• Think personally, act communally (when negotiating)
• If you’re offered seat on a rocket ship, you don’t ask what seat, you get on (career advice)
• Done is better than perfect (Facebook poster)
• The best way to make room for both life and career is to make choices deliberately – to set limits and stick to them

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Man Made by Joel Stein

Man Made: A Stupid Quest for Masculinity by Joel Stein

My rating: 5 of 5 stars


They say expectations are premeditated resentment. I expect funny from Joel Stein. But I don't resent him for writing, Man Made: a Stupid Quest for Masculinity.

He had me from the introduction. And he kept my attention all the way until the end. Basically, Joel freaks out when he finds out that he and his wife are expecting a boy. He has no idea what to do with a boy. Joel doesn't like sports, but he likes musicals...hence the quest for masculinity. The quest takes him on a camping trip with Boys Scouts, sends him to boot camp, puts him in the Octagon, and so, so much more.

I could go on writing my review, trying to be clever like Joel, but what's the point? I'm not Joel Stein. I don't do funny that well. Just read the book. Especially if you enjoy self-deprecating humor. Joel tells his story well, and has no problem sharing embarrassing things about himself. By the way, these declarations are so funny and not masculine that I would totally make fun of him if we were friends.



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Finally, I Read Eat Pray Love

Eat, Pray, Love by Elizabeth Gilbert

My rating: 3 of 5 stars


For 187 weeks, Elizabeth Gilbert’s Eat Pray Love sat on the New York Times Bestseller list. I refused to read it for every one of those 187 weeks.

It just was not my kind of book. I didn’t know much about it; just that it was about some woman who went on a trip, found herself, found love, etc., and I was not one of those women who needed to read this kind of book.

Fast forward to December 2012. I am emotionally lost, and struggling to right myself and be happy. Talking to my very encouraging and supportive friends is helping, but only temporarily, so I think, “Maybe it’s time to read Eat Pray Love.” Maybe if I can read about someone else’s struggles, I can be okay again.

It turns out that this was a good way for me to approach this book.

Yes, I enjoyed Eat Pray Love. Mostly I think because I identified with the author. From her neurotic tendencies to the racing thoughts to the inability to separate herself from a particularly unhealthy relationship, I got it all. My own brokenness was mirrored in hers, and I found help in the conversations she had with her friends and in her thought process.

At another point in my life, I don’t think I would have enjoyed this Eat Pray Love in the same way. I found myself thinking that Gilbert’s issues were very…well, very American. They seemed to be about personal fulfillment, and not very real world. At the same time, I felt like she acknowledged this in a way that satisfied me. She realized that she was lucky in that she could afford to travel for a year. I know it seems unfair in terms of life experiences (who wouldn’t love to escape for stretches of time to fix themselves when it all falls apart), but I have no problem with it. Gilbert had the means, she used it, and she shared her experience with anyone who wanted to read her book.

Without her book, I would not have read this:

“People think soul mate is your perfect fit, and that’s what everyone wants. But a true soul mate is a mirror, the person who you everything that’s holding you back, the person who brings you to your own attention so you can change your life. A true soul mate is probably the most important person you’ll ever meet, because they tear down your walls and smack you awake…Soul mates, they come into your life just to reveal another layer of yourself to you, and then they leave. And thank God for it.” P. 149 (what Richard says to Elizabeth about David)

“Eventually, everything goes away.” P. 174 (Elizabeth’s own thoughts about mosquito bites, but related to life in general)

“Groceries, you need to control your thoughts just the same way you select what clothes you’re gonna wear every day. This is a power you can cultivate. If you want to control things in your life so bad, work on the mind.” P. 178 (more Richard)

By the way, I read the hardcover edition, printed in 2006, with 334 pages.




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The Mighty Mites

Twelve Mighty Orphans: The Inspiring True Story of the Mighty Mites Who Ruled Texas Football by Jim Dent

My rating: 5 of 5 stars


The idiom says, "Don't just a book by it's cover." What about the book jacket?

All it took was reading the book jacket, and I was a goner for Jim Dent's Twelve Mighty Orphans. Then again, maybe I should have judged this book by it's cover because the rest of the title is "the Inspiring True Story of the Mighty Mites Who Ruled Texas Football"—what's not to love?

The book covers the story of the Masonic Home Mighty Mites during the 1930s and 1940s, when America was in the dark depths of the Great Depression. For hundreds of children, the Masonic Home was the place you came to when one or both of your parents died or because they could simply not afford to care for you. Life at the Home may not have been the most comfortable (no shoes for orphans between April 1 and October 1) or nurturing (the deans wielded paddles and a heavy hand), but it was a place of lasting friendships and education.

Enter Coach Rusty Russell. Coach Russell himself possessed a tenacious and determined spirit. During the Big War he was devastatingly injured when a canister of mustard gas landed nearby and blinded him. He eventually regained his eyesight, but was forced to wear thick glasses in order to see. Once back in the U.S., doctors instructed him to give up football, but he wore his glasses and was selected to the all-conference teams for football and basketball. The man gave up a good job at Temple High School in Texas, where he had a 20-3 record and took his team to the 1925 state-semifinal. He walked away from Temple to the Masonic Home where he would be faced with always-undersized players, an old blue Dodge for transportation, and uniforms made from t-shirts and spray paint.

I haven't even got to the orphans yet. But really, what's the point? Jim Dent tells their story so wonderfully, and I wouldn't want to cheat anyone from this experience. Just go get the book. Even if you don't love football, surely you love the underdog. After all, the Mighty Mites were playing at the same time Seabiscuit was racing and James "Cinderella Man" Braddock was fighting; and their story is just as movie-worthy.



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So What's the Penalty? Excessive Blocking.

The Blind Side: Evolution of a Game by Michael Lewis

My rating: 5 of 5 stars


For three months I sat on my library's wait list for Michael Lewis' The Blind Side. To say it was "worth the wait" does not sufficiently describe how I feel about this book.

It is one of the best sports-related books I have ever read, and I am quite dazed by Mr. Lewis. My first thought while reading this was that any football fan should read it. But now that I am done with the book, I think everyone should read it.

For football fans, Mr. Lewis did the incredible job of researching and telling readers about the "Evolution of a Game" (the book's tagline). His story takes you through the changes football went through during the 1980s, and the arrival of Lawrence Taylor, a linebacker for the New York Giants. Mr. Lewis ties his historical analysis to the personal story of Michael Oher.

For me, it was magic. I have always been a fan of football and the passing game. While watching the University of Hawaii as a child, I could never understand why they would ever run the ball. Maybe UH had a poor running game; I do not really remember. What I remember is Garrett Gabriel, the UH quarterback who led them to a win--a win after a 15-year drought--over then-arch-rival, BYU in 1989.

Garrett Gabriel could throw the ball, and he was a hero in Hawaii for beating BYU, so I grew up on the passing game. What a shock it was for me, 21 years after that win, to read that not only was the pass an illegal play until 1906, but a bias against the pass lasted through the 1960s.

Intermixed with all the football history is Michael Oher's amazing story. It was so amazing, that I will seek out a Baltimore Ravens game this season, just to see this man play in his second NFL season. It was so amazing, that I think anyone who has seen the movie, should read also read the book. Michael Oher, and his Tuohy family are the kind of people that give you hope for people and for this country. Times may be bad, and there maybe a lot of negativity in this world, but it all gets a little brighter when you read The Blind Side.


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Anrui (Tears in the Darkness)

Tears in the Darkness: The Story of the Bataan Death March and Its Aftermath by Michael Norman

My rating: 5 of 5 stars


Michael Norman and Elizabeth Norman wrote an incredible book when they wrote Tears in the Darkness: the Story of the Bataan Death March and Its Aftermath. The surrender of more than 76,000 American and Filipino troops on the Bataan peninsula is not a part of World War II that I learned much about in history classes, and I am so thankful that I stumbled upon this book at the library.

Captivating and well-written, this book also dredged up academic memories from college experience at Whittier College. Initially, I found some of the facts so horrific and disgusting they were nearly unbelievable. And then, I found myself intensely disappointed with a four-star general; so disappointed that I started to think about the classes I took on history and theory. This general is so celebrated, and when I read what he did, I wondered why this bit of his military career is kept so quiet.

Then I remembered how history is an account influenced by a historians experiences, the questions they ask and the answers they seek (something I learned at Whittier). Even now, after I finished the book, I wonder what made the authors chose to tell this particular story in this way. Tears in the Darkness is told from the American point of view, I found that the Normans also give you a flip-side perspective, so you cannot help but question our own country's actions.

It was a humbling and emotional experience to read this book. I cannot even begin to understand how American and Filipino prisoners of war endured, nor can I wrap my mind around the inhumanity we humans inflict upon one another. Then there was anger, shame, and pride. Anger and shame for both the Japanese and the Americans. Pride in how these POWs withstood the degradation, helped one another and most of all, survived.

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This One Made Me Go "Hmm...."

The Hornet's Sting: The Amazing Untold Story of World War II Spy Thomas Sneum by Mark Ryan


My rating: 3 of 5 stars
My favorite genre is science fiction fantasy, so I can take those leaps of faith while reading in order to get past "reality." Then I read Mark Ryan's The Hornet's Sting. I just could not take it seriously.

Don't get me wrong, it was interesting. It was just leaned toward unbelievable.

The book is the story of Thomas Sneum, a Dane who served as a British spy during World War II. His life as a spy in German-controlled Denmark was amazingly close to James Bond--at one point Sneum actually refuels a plane, mid-air.

See what I mean? Unreal.

I am still baffled by the story, and cannot get my mind around it. Luckily, Mr. Ryan has sources besides Sneum, so I will be reading R.V. Jones' Most Secret War, among others.

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Dieter Dengler's Escape From Laos

Escape from Laos by Dieter Dengler


My rating: 3 of 5 stars

While I tend to avoid real-life-themed works in fiction, I do enjoy reading history books, biographies and memoirs. Lately, I've been on a history-biography-memoir kick.

Escape From Laos is Dieter Dengler's account of the time he spent as a POW in Laos, including his escape. This was an easy, interesting read. I read it in part because I just finished John McCain's Faith of My Fathers, which covers his five years as a POW in Vietnam; and also because I saw the movie Rescue Dawn about a year ago. Rescue Dawn is the movie based on Dieter Dengler's story.

Pick this one up if you enjoy this genre of books. It might be a little difficult to find. Luckily the Contra Costa Library system has a copy, but I think that might be because Dengler was a Bay Area resident.


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